Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
