u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
