The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
