it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
