she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
