I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
