so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We are all done wearing pants today
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
