I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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