well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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