The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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