oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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