3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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