she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
