at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
