She said her name was "party"
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
