those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
