Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
