What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
4 words: hood of his car
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
