Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
