She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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