love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
