Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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