That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
