I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
