I wannas sexs uuuuu
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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