so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
