Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
kristin has been a bad kristin
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
