Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Quick, to the slutcave!
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
