believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
