this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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