You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
