i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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