Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
