well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
