Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
