Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
