Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
