I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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