we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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