Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
