Taylor Swift is so right about you.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You smell like a Billy Joel song
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
