hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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