Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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