Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
