new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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