dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
