It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
