I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
