I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
