I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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