I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
