What did we do last night that was yellow?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I love having hate sex.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
