So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
