I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
