my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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